In the mornings when she'd wake up there was a stillness inside her so profound she was afraid.

In this stillness, she thought, there is my death.
This is precisely how it will come.

But these mornings were multiple and so little space between them that she could not continue with this type of fear.

She resolved to carry on despite it.

What if I die, she asked herself, what then?

And, so she carried on.

Then, coming to her thoughts as these nagging thoughts will come, she said to herself it is not what if i die, but what if i do not?

and having said it even in her mind she was now aware of what the fear was for.

it told her she is really afraid to live.